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Childhood Incidents Have an Influence On Our Mental Health and Behavior

by Tasnim Tanim

Childhood is the best time of one’s life. It’s the age of innocence, learning new things, molding into a form. Childhood is precious, has a lot of importance in making someone’s Unforgettable memories. Childhood should be filled with love, purity, and innocence. In my psychology, depressed people have a relation of some incident that happened in their childhood, which made them depressed. Depression is like a carpenter ant, inflates us from inside. More likely now, as the world situation is not safe anymore. Children are playful, but the situation isn’t allowing children to play outside. This might have an impression on a child’s mind as their minds are so pure and we are not accustomed to the current situation of the world. On the other hand,  children learn things from their parents, surrounding things, they learn what they see. If their surroundings are motivating, they become motivated in the future. Childhood is like a molding machine, you become what it shapes you. 

First, it’s very important to be cautious; kids and especially teenagers can exhibit behaviour that by adult standards would seem to indicate mental illness, sometimes even when they’re normal. A lot of acting out by children and teenagers is actually a normal reaction to an abnormal environment, which is why mental professionals often refer to, “the identified patient,” which means the Mom and the Dad are missing the fact that they are the ones that need therapy. 

Let’s discuss some disturbing childhood incidents that might have an effect in their future,

  • Mostly in cases, if a child gets physically abused in their childhood, they get more anger compared to others. In some of the mental patients I met before, I got to know they had a very strict parent, who used to beat them so hard they have to bunk the school. This behaviour makes them fearful, makes them feel anger inside, they don’t trust people in the future, or might they also apply this abusive behaviour into a relationship. Don’t hit your kids, it’s just behaviour meditation trough pain and fifty years of research have shown that it often causes a host of mental and emotional problems. 
  • Mental abuse as in threatening children makes the child fearful, and creates an abusive mind. This behaviour impacts heavily on them in the future they fear things and most of the time seen to be alone. 
  • Punishing on children heavily, create hatred towards the punishing person.
  • In the demise of some beloved person, friend, family member, or parents might have a great impact on their changing behaviour. It’s a miserable pain indeed. 
  • Parents separation, like everyone wants a happy family. But some misfortune don’t get that. It’s not like that mostly but being alone is more likely that having a disturbed, damaged relationship. Children, of course, don’t understand the situation. And seeing all of these, they get heartbroken. They easily don’t wanna go along with somebody. Often, they got trust issues, commitment issues going on. 
  • Changing school/place is a hard thing obviously. It’s hard to let go of things and adopt new things. It’s difficult to start new bonding like your old friend. This incident may also have an impact on our future behaviour.
  • Hard to make friends or staying alone all time. It’s like a saying, “empty minds are residents of evils” when your empty mind all other things going on your mind. Especially, in this situation past memories, separation haunt you down. Left feeling depressed, tensed. 
  • Missing of guidance, children are of course molding machines, if you don’t mold them into good shape they might go to the wrong path, and never come back.  Giving them so much money nor anything expensive or excessive things makes them feel arrogant and ignorant.
  • Telling lies in front of your children, as I said children learn things seeing and observing surrounding things. Perhaps, imagine someone is calling for you and you teach your child to go and tell them, that you’re not home, you’re sick and like that. That impacts on the child. 
  • Borrow things or shop unusual things, its good to teach your child good things. But if you tell them to buy a cigarette what happens then? Children are curious, they want to follow their elders. More likely, eventually, they might get end up smoking or drinking. 
  • Tell them things nicely when they ask anything to you. They are naive, curious. And they just wanna know. So don’t make them disappointed.
  • Make them understand what’s wrong. Like, they are doing something bad and you’re like smiling over the thing. By this thing they might think you are encouraging them and they’ll do again. 
  • Of course, there are two different types of children, one’s easy understanding, predictable. Another is difficult. Also, a child’s inborn temperament may make him/her difficult to deal with, if it’s different from that of the parents. “Difficult” children are not mentally ill and their behaviour shouldn’t be approached as if they are. 

Now you all might think how will you understand that your children might have mental trauma. Well, in my psychology I have noticed some unusual behaviour. These are:

  • An abrupt change in behaviour
  • Behaviour that is extreme even if it is normal behaviour for them, it seems to be ‘amped-up’
  • Drop in their grades
  • Sudden lack of interest in hobbies or social situations
  • Sudden change of friendship group/circle
  • Fighting with siblings or friends in school (physical)
  • Being unusually quiet, something lost in somewhere
  • Sudden change in attire 
  • Outbursts of anger 
  • Sudden change in sexual activity that appears hyper-sexual not just the normal changes in the hormones.
  • Indications that they are exploring alcohol or drugs (this is a normal curiosity, but another way of hiding pain or feeling numb)
  • Change the subject when comes to serious topics about things.
  • Weight loss or weight gain
  • Hypersensitivity or hypervigilance 
  • Hair loss
  • Sudden change in hygiene
  • Recurring UTIs (this could be a sign of sexual molestation)

I feel like childhood is the best time of life, make it the best time. Understand your child and be with them. 

Best wishes to you all 💞

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